x`DrEaMs...``WhErE's``It...`x

sunday FINALLY!!

2006-08-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

MY POUCH!! xD
hahas~
sunday was great... have a-maths tuition as usual in the early morning... so tired!!! have to wake up at 9... so SLEEPY!!! but howerver... after my tuition... went SHOPPING with my mother!!... hahas~... LOVE SHOPPING!! XD ... dunno why... i juz loves BAGS!!! came to a shop... a SHOP FULL OF BAGS AND POUCHS... cant stop myself frm spending money... so i bought a pink one... my mom bought a silver one (i pursuade her to buy)...

2006-07-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

MINE is tat blue one!! his the ORANGE!! ~<3
HEEX :D yumyum!! lollipops!!
oppx! another year! here i am to update my oldie blog! hahas... have been too lazy lately... so happy! got a new com... ACER computer!!! with a 17 inch' LCD screen... hahas... thnx to my aunt... she gave it to me... hmm but got a little problem with the net work connection... cant connect to internet tat's why now still using the old com... happy happy... ytd went out with friends to a former teacher hse... we were invited to tat teacher house to celebrate her daughter birthday... tat little princess is only 1 year old... with big beautiful eyes... so cute!! we have india style buffet cause my teacher is an indian... though the food was spicy... i mean the real spicy type... but it was delicious... i even went for the second round... hahas~
yum yum!!
tada tats all!!

~one year liao

2005-05-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

it hab been one yr...
and i hardly up date my blog...
so sian nth to do...
gonna spend me whole jun holiday trap at home...
arrrhhh...
hope to be free...
so fan~~~~
waiting toward for trainings....

/-\|\|o+|-|eR D/-\Y P/-\S+...

2004-10-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

Haiz~ End of week le...exams also ending soon le...
but my mood still the same...=FoRloRn=

Please lol...teachers pls bear in mind tat first class doesn't mean the best of all...
Today's accident can proof liao bahX...Hahas...first class was indeed noisy..
second class too...maybe it's called fate tat the betta classes shld made more mistake so tat it's fair to the NA class bahx...
Science exam today wasnt good...
i spent my night burning midnight oil and yet it's all a waste of it...
My mind blank the next morning...
what for so hardworking go n write notes when in the end your mind in a blank...
This really made me freak out...

Actually the science wasn't tat difficult but i cant admit it's easy too when my di said its difficult lol...
am i going to prepare to fail it or pass it when both comments aren't the same..
Cheng..arh...
jie noe u beri smart de sure pass the test no matter how difficult so arh dun end up like me k...haiz...
hope the "angel" is here to at least help abit lol...
haiz...everyone!
They good lol...see cute guy...rushed up the bus wif him...
leave me all alone at the bus stop...
nebermind at least there's someone there to accompany me...
Friends are betrayer oni one in a million is what i called true friend bahx.......
-S/-\l\/lsung-

ExAmS SiAnZ aRhZ

2004-10-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

Sian arh... 1 year 365 and 1/4 days...not enough lar...so much to learn yet so little time...
Haiz~ no more primary school life liao...no more 4 exams...9 exams sia lar...
even robot can die after doing 9 exams lol....
Haiz exams period cannot play and not relax cannot sleep...
muz burn might night oil then can...
soon later i will break down de...
nebermind bare wif it first...
gonna enjoy my life to the fullest after it...

Haiz~all his fault lar...if he neber tell me all tiz i may juz concentrate more on my exams...
now so mani things on prepare to fail lar...
Geo no hope liao.....can't even finish it on time.....
lit oso......wad billy elliot...billy idiot better lar..
science tml...at least better...hopefully can pass...haiz....Maths...
Maths made me mad....a......l......
Missing you+thinking of u=FoRloRn
haiz....shldn't have choose tiz school.....
so mani complicated thing going on...
So Much To Do So Little Time ...I RatherSpent My Day With You...

In`Lur`rve

2004-08-11T01:14:00.000-07:00

What's love?

When you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person. But when that special someone is not around, you might look around to find them. At that moment, you are in love.

Although there is someone else who always makes you laugh, your eyes and attention might go only to that special someone. Then, you are in love.

Although that special someone was supposed to have called you long back, to let you know of their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are desperately waiting for the call! At that moment, you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-mail from that special someone than other many long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot erase all the messages in your answering machine because of one message from that special someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets, you would not hesitate to think of that special someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend", but you realize that you can not avoid that person's special attraction. At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone appears in your mind, then u are in love with that person.

The`100th`sor`ries...`Lur`rve

2004-08-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

It was first day of the mid-year exams, therefore i finished school a little earlier, i called him, >>:Hey, i finished school earlier today, would you come by and pick me up? >>:Alright, give me 5 minutes. >>:5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house. >>:I need to get ready. >>:Alright, make it fast then. 2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot, I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself. Although it doesn't make much of a difference, it was better that I fanned.5 minutes have passed, he's still not shown up, I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch. 10minutes and he's still not here....couldn't be that he was met with an accident? 15 minutes passed, he finally shown up.

>>:Why are you so late?
He wasn't even a lil' bothered: Nahz, was watching TV. >>:What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eat before you come down then? I haven't got anything else to say for that, didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood there and stared at him.

>>:Sorry. This was the first time he said sorry to me... He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl...I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home. He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels..The only thing he does is to apologise. To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry. I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises. He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl. Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once correct his mistakes. Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead. Tears flowed down my cheek on the 59th time he apologised. I dropped my head: you don't ever need to say sorry to me again. If you can never change, th en don't let me keep giving you chances again and again hoping and believing that you would change each time. He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry. Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever. I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me. >>:What's wrong with you these few days? >>:Nothing. >>:Then why are you acting so strange? >>:I am not. >>:What can you say other than this answer? >>:Do you know I'm very worried, very insecure, do you treat me as your girlfriend? >>:I'm sorry... >>:I don't want to hear you say sorry again. I put down the phone and he did not call back. He doesn't even care about me. Maybe we should....break up. ....this was the 99th time he said sorry... From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him. Sometimes I get an anonymous phonecall but everytime I said hello, it was dead, i think it's a call from him, but why don't he speak up? After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelings I still have for him anymore and went to his school to find him. I went outside his classroom and looked around, but there was no sign of him >>:excuse me, is XOXO here today? >>:I'm afraid he already stopped schooling. >>:Huh? Why? When was that? >>>:He hasn't been in school for a month already. >>:Oh erms...thanks. One month....not in school for one month...why is that so? I stumbled home. >Called his hp: Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone.... I put down the phone, and called his house next, but there was no answer. How can it be? The whole family migrated? It seems as though he has already disappeared from the face on the earth leaving not even a single trace. I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted, the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend. He was one of his brothers and also my good friend. >>:Hey, what have you been doing? XOXO is in hospital. >>:REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED? >>:Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time. >>:I'll be right there. I used the fastest speed my legs could carry and when I reached the hospital I saw that his parents were already there. I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall. He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word, not moving a muscle, >:Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me? He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again. >>:Come on answer me...why don't you speak? A tear flowed down the side of his eye, and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strength that he could master to say... >>:I'm...sorry... After that, his eyes went shut. >>:Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me? >>:Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please. I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt I cried out.. >>:Why do you have to apologise? Why don't you give me an explanation instead? >>:I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use... >>:If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime, please I beg of you..open your eyes..... That was the 100th sorry A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me away and tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up... My mind was blank... my eyes could only see a sea of black.He did not leave this world...I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore. But he would appear in my dreams sometimes, telling me how he was doing. He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart. would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling....just that...he never apologise to me anymore. After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box...inside was a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them..the reasons why he made me angry. The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up. I know this excuse is really lame, but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then, before I stepped out of the house, I felt a pain in my chest, but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me? The second time, my dear, I... The third time, my dear, I... The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world, It had to be so because God did not give me the chance to say I Love You for this lifetime of mine, and to put the ring on your finger.... You are the first girl I apologised to. And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life... Forgive me for not able to bring you happiness but I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you... Looking at you while you find your happiness...promise me...don't shed a tear... I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You ~XOXO How can I not cry? What you said was just too impossible. The last photograph was of him in the hospital, Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever. His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th. At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him.

>>:I'm sorry. I held the photo tightly and cried for us.....

Juz`an`action`show`how`much`he`love`u...-Lur`rve-

2004-07-29T01:28:00.000-07:00

..::::.. Love Means ..::::..

..A girl and guy were speeding (on a motobike) over 100 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its 2 scary!
Guy: Then tell me u love me.
Girl: Fine, I love u. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can u take my helmet off & put it on? Its buggin me.
~ In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure.
~ 2 ppl were on it but only 1 survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realizd that his breaks had broken, but he didn't want 2 let the girl know.
~ Instead, he..
...had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time,
then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die

Br0kE|\| S|\/|i|e

2004-07-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

Haiz~
I feel so odd and extra in tiz school...perhaps i have came to the wrong school bahX...Why is it so different?It didn't came out the way i expected lol...My previous best friends Jazreel, Liting, Cheryl and Michelle were all having so much fun at their own school now...Even if they have any problems, there are always someone in their school to help them...It's totally different for me...No one there to understand what i am thinking...Though i have some friends...close friends...whenever they have trouble or any gathering...they aren't willing to let me know as if i was invisible to them...I felt totally useless...Sometimes i try not to reach out for them...But when i'd try to speak out...Felt like no one could hear me...Wanted to belong here...But something felt so wrong here...No one will ever understand... No one will ever care...No one will ever notice me...I am just a doll being throw to a dark corner seeing others playing happily...'Angel §' why can't you cheer me up when i am being left out but not cheering me up when i am alone...I am not afraid of being alone but left out...I don't wish to feel so isolated with them...I want my friends to at least care for me a bit...As for him...Angel § could u stop mentioning about him...coz what i think is that a real close friend is better than having a...........I know u have your own problems too...but can't you just share it with me even though i may not be able to help out but at least like let me help you by sharing your problems together...You always teach me to treat things happily but i know you are faking a smile infront of me...Aren't you the one whoalways teaches us all the 'Da Dao Li' why??? I think you need people to cheer you up too...Sometime when i look at you...you feel so lonely and quiet sitting there...I wish i can help you but i am afraid you might reject my help...lyk someone dos...Angel §...Am i really that useless...I kow you will say no...but hope you can really tell me the truth...And is it hard to forget oneself???

|-|i|\/|???

2004-06-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

Haiz~This is going real bad lol....
ever since May we are avoiding each other liao...
Why is this happening...k....hold on....
why are we avoiding one another at first dun you think something is wrong or what...
i juz wan to noe why...yea u sent me those mails...
but u never sae face to face what am i suppose to noe...
yup i told my friends tat i dun noe u...it's not true tat i dunno u lol....
is i dun even noe what u r thinking....
you never tell me always wanting me to guess...

Lols....can't we be juz lyk before...
splashing water at each other during the swimming classes and hit each other heads during recess outside corridor...though may sound childish but betta den nth...
hope things will not turn out lyk tiz...it's so meaningless...staring at each other speechless...exams ending soon liao...juz hope nth will happen lols...

* |o\/E PoE|\/| *

2004-05-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

*.: love poem :.*

Message:
It's so hard to say "I love you",
and not draw back in tears.
Its so hard to know that your not there
to help me face my fears.
Its so hard to know the phone's at reach,
but I cannot hear your voice.
Its so hard to see you laughing
when I'm crying deep inside.
Its so hard to just find feelings
and now have to make them hide.
Its so hard to live without you,
when I need you more then words.
I want to scream how much I love you
but hold back and not be heard.
Its so hard to go to sleep at night
when I cannot dream of you.
Its so hard to think that
you might fall in love with someone new.
Its so hard to not start crying
when I hear your favorite song.
Its so hard to sit and wonder,
where did I go wrong?
Its so hard to live without you
if I only would have known.
I will never love another,
I would rather be alone.

.: +|-|e |-|/-\rDeS+ +|-|i|\|gs i|\| |u\/ :.

2004-04-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

Message: HARDEST THINGS IN LOVE
1. flashing your smile to someone u don't want to see.
2. bringing back the feeling u've learned to forget.
3. showing that u care.
4. finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5. learning that u've been used by someone u truly love.
6. saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't.
7. letting go of a person u've just learned to love.
8. realizing that u love somebody u've just taken for granted.
9. realizing that u love the person u've just broken up with.
10. waiting for promises you know he'll never keep.
11. saving ur love for someone who loves somebody else.
12. reminiscing the good times u shared together.
13. shielding ur heart to love somebody.
14. trying to hide what u really feel.
15. having a commitment w/ someone that u know would not last.
16. trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes.
17. sharing the one u love w/ someone else
18. loving a person too much.
19. giving up someone u never thought of giving up.
20. falling in love for the first time
21. loving someone you haven't seen
22. having the right love at the wrong time
23. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
24. not being appreciated when u know u've given ur best.
25. taking the risk to fall in love again.
26. hiding ur relationship from someone else.
27. controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
28. choosing between 2 persons whom u really love.
29. finding out that u can never have the person u just let go of
30. seeing the person u love with someone else
31.turning away from da one u lurfe n in return felt a very sour feeling in ur heart..able to cry anytime s tears by den had filled ur eyes..

32.wen u realised tat dat would be da last ride home wif him/her Loving involves two phases. The first intuitive one loves the person because of who he/she is. The second nobler one loves the person despite of who he/she is not. The first one sparks love.The second one makes it last. "We always think that we lost something... but the truth is we never did... not because we never had it...but because we never appreciated it

Re/-\|iSe

2004-04-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

To realize
The value of a sister:
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth
to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth
to a premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to
Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus, or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal
in the Olympics.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.

Time waits For no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will
treasure it even more when you can share it
with someone special.

The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.
Do not keep this letter.
forward it to friends to whom you wish good luck
Peace, love and prosperity to all!

|\/|y \/\/is|-|

2004-03-27T18:25:00.000-08:00

Her Cry

For the moment i was worried

For the moment i was scared

For the moment i was nervous

For the moment i was tired

I wish to be asleep and never open my eyes again

Coz' I see nothing here i can treasure

Everything here are juzt meaningless

This is the 'dark heaven' i called

I sat by the window whisper to the air

Hoping someone will listen to me for once

Sharing my sorrow with him

I whisper 'Can somone pls care for me?'

I close my eyes feeling weak and numb

For a moment i was floating in air

Seeing the figure of me sleeping by the window

I knew god had bring me to the 'Bright heaven'

FRi3|\|d

2004-03-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

Friend

You encourage me when I fail to do something
Your cheer me up when I am feeling low
You help me when I have trouble
You teach me to be gracious

Your smile brighten up my days
Your laughter give me hopes
Your words reflect me
Your existance make me find my true self

When you are not around
The days and nights are cold
The laughters fade as well as hopes
My true self start to vanish

I hope you are alright
Ihope you will be here with me
Guiding me to my real self and make me discover me
That's all i am wishing for...